I don't know how long I can bear with this. This anger and frustration. I have been trying to have fun, if anyone's noticed. The A&F models, shopping, the recent birthday barbeque. For some reason, still, nothing can really distract me from the pain that's been haunting me for so long. It has actually never occurred to me that I could be so emotionally fragile despite my supposed "tough exterior". I'm never going to be good enough for anything, and giving up isn't even an option. I've been so phlegmatic, my heart and mind are just really tired. Everyone's just waiting for me to crack, that's when they'll show that they "care". For the meantime, though, all I can be is numb.
But I think I'll be okay.
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